…

“Got ’em both in church yesterday.”

“In church!?! How in the world did you manage to get two black eyes in church?”

“Well, the preacher called a hymn and as we all stood up to sing, I noticed the lady standing in front of me. Her dress was sort of stuck in the crack of her arse, so I reached out and pulled it out for her. She turned around and slugged me in the right eye.”

“Well, how’d you get the other one?”

“Well, I figured if she got that mad from me pulling the dress out of the crack of her arse, I’d better put it back.”