… lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky. Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again and have a swig.
To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay by having another swig.

Try another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters try it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. By now Who cares?

Check the whisky by having a cup full. Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and flop into bed. Hic!!!