MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

COLUMBUS MOTHER: “I don’’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Can’’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, if you aren’’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But it’s your senior picture. Can’’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something.”

JONAH’’S MOTHER: “That’’s a nice story. Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last forty years.”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”