My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the corona virus.

One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctor’s tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics, and because they’re shutdown too.

Directions:

Simply go outside and pee on the front lawn.
If ant’s gather: DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE.
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS.
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER’S